DO YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES?

Coach Mike here! It would be easy to just craft a list of tips to help you get yourself started and into the gym. But would that be enough to show you that things often don’t just follow the perfect steps on a list and that our individual experiences color all of the actions we take?

With that in mind I want to take you back to the beginning of my journey in 2017 when 500 pounds was rapidly approaching again on the scale and the stairs upon to my apartment were starting to feel like an impossible hurdle. I knew I needed to make change and I needed movement to be a part of it. But how could I even begin when life in general already felt exhausting?

“A quick recap for those who just entered the room.”

A little history for the new folk here. I have struggled with food addiction and weight issues my entire life and it has been a literal extreme rollercoaster. It wasn’t until the early 2000s though that structured workouts entered the picture. Before that most weight loss attempts included walking or, yes, a Sweating to the Oldies VHS tape routine. In the early 2000s I became friends with a trainer who was patient, kind, and taught me how to actually list weights, exercise properly and set up a routine. I lost 150 pounds working with him, but as was often the case rapidly put the weight back on. In 2010 I was 540 pounds and started my activity with pool walking and built up to water aerobics, and eventually was lifting again. I was 210 pounds in 2013, and as was the pattern of my life, I fell off the wagon hard. I rolled down the hill. And landed in a ravine, 490 pounds, and stayed there until 2017.

“It’s only five minutes, it doesn’t matter.”

In 2017, as many of you know, I found my why, I defined a nutritional path and I was ready to fight for my life, and committed to doing so mindfully this time. Immediately I wanted to join a gym but I had to face a harsh reality, I was in worse physical shape at 490 than I was at 540. I was at the point where just moving my body through the world to and from work was overwhelming. I knew joining a gym immediately would be a waste of money. I had to be realistic, honest and meet myself where I was at… so what did I do? I focused on nutrition for the first two weeks or so, and then I decided that I needed to start walking. I strapped on my sneakers. Walked down the stairs from my second floor apartment, and sat down on the front steps to rest because I was already getting winded. In front of me was a short block with a telephone pole at the end of it. I wanted to walk around the block, but I first headed for the telephone pole. It felt like walking through molasses and my back was screaming by the time I hit the pole. I knew that my next steps had to be back to the house or I might actually collapse. So I did that, and I sat down to look at my stopwatch. It had taken me 5 minutes to get from the stairs to the corner and then back. The distance was laughable, and I was sweating and heaving like I had just run a mile at full speed. I was discouraged at my limitations but did not just give up. I decided I would commit to doing this every day. And I did.

I’d love to say that day two I did 10 minutes and paint this beautiful picture of fast progression, but truthfully it was the same 5 minutes and the same corner for at least a week. After that week I was feeling more sure on my feet and decided I needed to push to the next corner. So that was what I did, and I made that my walk until I felt ready to go on. Eventually I was walking around my block. And then two blocks. When I was walking consistently for over 20 minutes I decided it was time to join a gym and switch to a treadmill… mostly because it was approaching summer and getting very hot. There was a Planet Fitness just about exactly a mile from my house. I signed up.

“Why isn’t it moving?”

My intention heading to PF was to start with the treadmill, explore the gym equipment and start lifting again. Great intentions. What happened next would honestly have crushed me in my past, but like I said, I had a purpose to my journey now. I knew I was fighting for my life and I wanted to be alive finally. I was lucky I had that in focus.

The first morning I walked in the gym I was ready to make a b-line to the treadmills. Get my 20 minutes done and get out. I wasn’t intimidated going in per se, but I do understand that is a struggle many face. In fact you can read my blog about “Gymtimidation” by clicking here. I had never used a treadmill before but I had done my Googling! I stepped on. Grabbed the handrails, placed my feet on the sides, and hit Start. And as expected, it starting moving. Nervously I picked up my foot and took a step. Dead stop. The treadmill stopped moving. I picked my foot up, and it was moving again. I stepped down again. It stopped. Initially my thought was, “I got a defective one here.” So I moved to another treadmill. Same thing happened. And another. And another. I had to face the fact that I was simply too heavy for the machine. I asked the desk if they knew the weight limit on their cardio equipment and they were not helpful, “ I dunno. I’ve never seen them not work.” I asked if they could get me that information and left my number.

I was ready to cry. I was angry. Mostly at myself. Here I was excited to be in a gym and too heavy for what I wanted to do. I wanted to just walk out and go get some donuts, honestly. But I had to keep things in perspective. The equipment’s failure was not mine. I had come there with the goal of walking 20 minutes on a treadmill, and that was out of my control. BUT I could still walk for 20 minutes in that air conditioned gym if I set my mind to it. I popped in my headphones, set a timer and started just walking the floor of the gym. Goals don’t change but strategy and action can. I used that time to identify all of the equipment available, check out the locker rooms and just walk laps. Luckily it was a huge space. I made notes of the machines so I could see if they worked with my previous routine, and after 20 minutes I went home satisfied and emboldened to be able to use those treadmills soon. I got a call that afternoon from the gym’s manager who said that most of their treadmills had a 300 pound limit but there were three that were rated for 400 pounds.

I was around 450 pounds at that time. I had to adjust my plan. I would take advantage of the gym’s cool temp, walk laps around the perimeter and get my walk in. And in that space I was emboldened, my 20 minute walk quickly became 30 minutes and I decided I needed to start lifting. Any guesses what happened?

“Well that’s a tight squeeze.”

I actually reached out to my friend who had built a routine for me years ago. We talked about the set up at PF and the equipment. And both agreed that starting with machines until I felt a bit more sure of myself lifting could be the safest path because I would be working out solo. I headed off the next morning with a plan in hand, literally a notebook, and quickly found myself in the thick of another mess, no pun intended. My 450 pound body simply did not fit onto many of the machines we had laid out. I could squeeze into some of them, but just could not move once I was in there. Oh man, again? Another barrier that at the end of the day was self-imposed. Could I have gotten mad at the gym or the manufacturer? Sure. But where would that get me? I had spent much of my life trying to blame other people for things that I did hold some responsibility for and I needed to be conscious of that. Again I had to adapt. Are you seeing a pattern here? Even if I wasn’t fully conscious of it at the time, success on this path I wanted to follow was going to take a lot of flexibility and adaptation keeping my eyes on the prize.

And honestly, I don’t think that up until writing this blog I realized the importance of the crossroads I faced that day in the gym. The crossroads wasn’t about giving up on my goals. I had taken that off the table but I very easily could have said to myself, “No treadmills, no machines, I will just go home and come back when I can fit better.” That’s the dangerous voice in our heads that we need to pay heed to even more than the voice talking about drive thru’s and donuts. It’s the quieter voice that can slowly change the path without us being fully conscious of it! If I had made that decision, I truly believe it would have lead me to other small decisions that added up to big trouble. Instead I listened to the voice that said “Okay, the perfect plan for today is gone, but let’s do something anyway. You came here. You have no reason to leave those doors.” I shifted my plan for that day. Specifically I sat at a table in the gym, iPhone in hand, and took each machine exercise, identified what muscle it targeted and then found a dumbbell exercise from a site like this one that did the same. I knew I had to put any ego aside and start light and focus on the exercise’s technique.

This was important. It was a phrase I say a lot in action, meeting myself where I was at. I wasn’t worried that other folk were grabbing heavier weights. I was focused on feeling each movement and making sure my body could do it. When you are significantly larger than most people, the physics of your body can be different. Reach, balance and more change. For example, I fit fine on the leg press machine but carrying most of my weight in my stomach meant trying to squat with a giant ball in the way. I hope this is a point you will pay attention to if you are also a bigger person. Be conscious of your range of motion, and if you feel an exercise needs to be adapted for your body, you may not be wrong! I encountered that challenge several times as I built on that first day. But I did get that first workout in!

I proved to myself that I was capable of encountering roadblocks and tackling them. I by no means felt like I had won a race but I knew that I had a turned a corner in my perspective on fighting for myself. And this spilled over into my focus on nutrition, mindset and more. Even know that if you just put all of this down on paper by the numbers most folk would not see the accomplishment nor even think I was trying hard. But I had to realize that what I was doing was not at all about impressing other people or putting up big numbers. It was about actually building habits and routines I needed. Yes, I felt weak, but I knew that could change. I had already seen that change in action from that first day on the front steps of my house to that moment. If I had seen that first five minute walk as useless I would never had gotten to where I was that day months later. I had to harness that persistence and keep it moving.

“All that work and I am not perfect yet, WTF?!?”

And I did. I moved forward with that initial routine and kept it going consistently. Adjusting as needed. Adding weight to the lifts, incorporating new exercises as body changed and also identifying what the things were that I enjoyed in the gym. I had learned that working out was about so much more than just a routine scribbled out in a notebook. It was about showing up for myself even on the days that it felt hardest to do just that. It was also about accepting the imperfection of it all! Did I spring out of bed every morning wide eyed and excited to go do the work?? No! There were still plenty of days I would sit in the gym parking lot for ten minutes debating what I wanted to do versus what I know I needed to do. And some days the want would win. I would literally drive to the gym and then drive home having done nothing. The great thing though was the more I focused on my commitment to myself the fewer and further between those days came. The more I focused on the consequences of my choices and actions, the fewer times I did that. Imagine that, it was once again about growing stronger and progressing not about any magic pills or switches flipped. It was about identifying not just what I wanted to do in that gym but what being in that gym would bring into my life.

What it brought into my life is greater mindfulness of how my body moves and feels. It’s brought a true enjoyment of that movement! And it has taught me lessons about myself that apply to all areas of my life.

Ask yourself these questions if you are like me and struggling to build a consistent routine of intentional activity in your life. What is that activity worth to you? How does it relate to your goals, how you want to be living your life? And if you do feel it is important, what are the roadblocks that are holding you back? Are they physical barriers you need help navigating or are they mental struggles that you need to work out? If you come through reading my story convinced that you need to build a consistent routine and you’re not doing it, think about that!!!

The overall message I feel I wanted to put out there in sharing my story is that where we start does not define where we will go… but it does define where we start! If you need to start with 5 minutes of walking, do it. If you need to start with a stretching routine at home, do it. Set a realistic, achievable yet challenging goal, and for goodness sake do it now. Don’t wait. Time will pass anyway and starting now means you will be further ahead before you can even realize it. Trust me, those first 5 minute walks kicked my butt. I would get back to the front steps almost ready to cry and collapse, and sit there to catch my breath knowing I still needed to walk up stairs. It was hard but if I ever accepted it was too hard I do not know where I would be today.

Can you relate to this story too well? Are you struggling to get past those roadblocks and build the healthy habits you need for success? Let’s talk! Click here to see my programs and services!