IT’S OK TO SAY NO… HO, HO,HO!
“Just have one, they’re small!”
“It’s one day, why can’t you just eat the regular meal?”
“Grandma will be upset if you don’t try her pie!”
“BUT IT’S THE HOLIDAYS!”
When you’re staying keto for the holidays you might here these things, more than once. Well meaning family, friends and co-workers try to get you to eat something you don’t want to have. Social media influencers tell you it’s ok to take the day, week, month off. YOU try to tell yourself it’s ok! And let me say, if you’re going to do this, feel empowered by your choices and enjoy, but this blog isn’t for you. This blog is for the person reading who needs to keep their goals in focus and stick to their plan so that they don’t end up in a place they probably know too well. That place where one cookie or one scoop of stuffing becomes two, then three. Where one off plan meal becomes a full day, becomes a week, then a month, and maybe even years. I want to say it if you are saying NO to the holiday indulgences, IT’S OK!!!
I want to let you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with making the choice to honor your health and your sanity, and stay on your plan. There are people who can choose to eat off plan or non-keto and then get right back on plan the next day. I am happy for them. If this is not you, I want you to know that I am happy for you and proud of your choices.
I have been in your shoes on my journey and I wanted to share some strategies for handling these situations where saying no is important and needed.
Pre-Game Pep Talks Help
It can help to cut off these confrontations before they happen by having conversations with family or friends to let them know you are planning to stay keto for the holiday or gathering. This is good to do with people who you know might be the “tempters” or “pushers.” I find it helps to do it from a place of needing their support, so they become allies. For example, “Mom, I know Thanksgiving dinner is important to you and celebrating it with everyone is important to me. I’m going to be sticking to my eating plan that day because it will help me do that. Can you tell me what we’ll be having so I know if I need to bring anything? I want to help.”
Bring Something to Share
If possible, don’t just bring your food along. Let your host know you’ll be bringing a dish too share with everyone that you can enjoy. A cheese plate or keto friendly side dish can be a great choice here. It signifies your desire to share the experience and not just define your personal boundaries. If you know there will be nothing present you can eat, it’s ok to bring your food and sometimes I have found it helpful to say, “I want to be there and this will help me stick to my goals. I don’t want you to feel bad, I am totally happy doing this.”
Use Your Energy Wisely
When you are confronted by someone, choose your response wisely. Is this someone who you have a connection with or just an acquaintance? Are they someone you want to have a full conversation with about your choices or is it simply a matter of saying, “No thank you, I don’t eat that,” and you move on? Not every situation will require a deep dive into why keto is important to you, and doing this repeatedly can get draining. Know your personal limits and how engaged of a response is required.
Avoid Preaching
Ok this one might seem challenging but understand your choices on a holiday are yours and other people are responsible for theirs. If there’s a dish or treat you’re not having, there’s no need to explain why everyone shouldn’t have it. The urge to do this can be strong if you’re excited about all of the gifts going keto has given you. And by all means, if someone asks, share. If they don’t ask, there is no need to have a lecture ready to go. I have found that some times people want us to have the off plan meal because they want permission to do it themselves or they feel like I might be judging them. Neither is the case of course! I don’t need to give anyone permission and I certainly am not in any place to judge another’s choices. Feel secure in your own choices, that is the most important goal!
Remember my friends, at the end of the day when you get home, the only person who has to take responsibility for your choices on a holiday is YOU. You can’t control how anyone else reacts to your choices. You can only control your response. I hope that you will head into this challenging season feeling empowered to make the choices you need to for your goals. For many of us, saying no to holiday indulgence is indeed a matter of life or death. I am not being dramatic, just real. Do what you need to do in order to care for yourself and know that even if you are the only person at the table that day making the choices you do, you are not alone. There are many of us out here saying no and it’s more than ok!
