WRITE IT OUT!
Let’s face facts. The stress in our lives is probably not going anywhere else anytime soon. It’s a normal reaction to many situations to get more stressed and too often we can find that overwhelming. I know I do! Why talk about this on a nutrition blog? Because we feel it is important to take a holistic approach to working on building lasting change in your life. Part of that is identifying the triggers and behaviors that can make our relationship with food… well, let’s be kind and say challenging. For many of us we reacting to an overwhelming amount of stress with poor coping mechanisms like overeating and binge behavior. In this blog I want to share a tool I have developed in my own life that helps find a path towards positive action when I am feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed by stress. It starts with journaling.
Journaling is a powerful tool for reflection in and of itself. Some people dive right into it and just let their thoughts flow. If that’s not you, it’s okay! For years I wanted to journal but could never find the right way to access this habit and its benefits. What finally worked? Someone recommended Intelligent Change’s Five Minute Journal. It offered structure and consistency in a way I had never considered before, quick and easy. Once I got into using it I found that journaling in general was not as intimidating of a habit and activity. You can find out more about that tool here. Right now however I want to share journaling of another kind that I find helps me when I am feeling completely stressed out so let’s dive into it!
The Set Up!
We’re going old school here so you will need a notebook or blank paged journal, and three pens of different colors. I use black, red and green personally so I will be using those colors here when I explain. You might be able to make this work in a digital format if you must, but trust me when I say putting pen to actual paper is a fantastic sensory experience when doing this work!
Step One: Dump it all out!
This might be the hardest thing to do as it takes some real self-honesty and exploration. Your first task is to grab that black pen and write out a list of all the things that you think are causing you stress. All of the things that are contributing to that sense of being overwhelmed. Write down everything that pops into your head, no judgment or editing right now. Allow it all to flow freely. Is work involved? Your gym progress? Relationship issues? Whatever it is, big or small add it to your list. The more specific you can be the better.
Step Two: Red vs. Green
Now it’s time to dive deeper with you red and green pens handy. Look at each item on your list and determine, as truthfully as you can, if it is something you can control or if it is something out of your control. If you can, circle it in green. If you cannot, cross it out in red. The intention here is to reflect on the things driving your stress level and enable you to call them out for what they are. Attempting to control things that are not actually within our control is a huge waste of energy and space within your head. Before you can move on to step three I am going to ask you to something pretty significant. I want you to look at all of the items crossed out in red and consciously say “I am letting you go.” If you cannot control them, trying to will just a be a fool’s errand in the end.
Step Three: Line up the Green
Now it’s time to do something with all of the items circled in green! Take a blank page and copy each of those items over. Leave some space, like 3-4 lines, beneath each item. When completed, take time with each item to brainstorm the actions you can take that can help you address the stressor. We talked about control and now it is time to examine what it looks like in real life. List every way you can affect this stress item beneath it, whether you currently feel like you are doing the action or not. That assessment comes next!
Step Four: Action plan time!
Look at the list of actions beneath each item. If you feel you are currently completing that action satisfactorily put a star next to it. Be honest. If one of the things stressing you out is a lack of sleep and one of your actions is “Have a set bedtime” that is a great action. If you are only following that bedtime 2-3 nights a week, this might be one of the actions that needs focus, so don’t give it a star. I hope in doing this step one thing that will become evident is all of the things you are currently doing to work on your stress and that you will also gain some understanding of the actions that need more attention. The list of un-starred items might seem overwhelming in and of itself and this okay. Your task is to identify a reasonable number of items you can implement and create a list of tasks you can address when the bandwidth is available. This step is just as much about creating an action plan as it is about evaluating what you feel you are capable of right now. It may turn out that you learn that one of the factors that influences our ability to control things that generate stress is how much time, resources and energy we have. We may need to accept there are things that we feel we could control if the circumstances were different, but since they are, we may need to put them on hold. I know you might eye roll right now when you see I am telling you to pick up your pen again but this is crucial. Take the actions that you have identified you need to work on implementing and create a final list. This will help with having an easy reference back to the things you know you need to be doing.
Step Five: Evaluate, Assess, and Continue!
Regular evaluation of the impact that your new action list is having on your stress levels is important. This may mean taking time weekly or bi-weekly, and monthly, even to sit down and look at your notes. You’ll want to identify the actions you have been completing and those that you have not. You’ll also want to do a check in with yourself on the impact your new actions have had. Has working on letting go of the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can helped with your overall stress level? If it has, fantastic! If it has not, go back to your action list. Be willing to update the priorities you have given to the actions and do not give up on yourself. And do not forget to add stars to those actions that you are now completing so you can continue to see your perspective and work evolve in a concrete fashion.
So there you have it, a tool that I personally use regularly and have shared with clients many times. I hope that you will find it useful and would love to hear from you if you do! I want to add a note here about timing in that there are no rules. You do not need to complete this journaling project in one sitting. Give it the time and thought that it needs. I sometimes will take a day or more between steps. You deserve to prioritize your self-care and mindfulness. Don’t forget that!
